[CBFF] Brett Who? (Nice Review)

[Steve Behrens]

((From the Chicago Sports Review))

 *Brett Who?*

BY Dustin Beutin


 Supposedly, Brett Favre played football last night. You may have never
known this by watching television, as the NBC Sunday Night Football
broadcast only mentioned Brett Favre approximately 5,732 times. For those of
you keeping score at home, that's 376 comments short of the all-time record
for mentioning one person in a broadcast, surpassed only by Pope John Paul
II's funeral.

And no, that doesn't include references during the game to Brett Favre's
wife, his barber, his lawn mower or a hunk of cheese in Spooner, Wisconsin
that looks like Brett Favre when held under a neon Old Milwaukee sign at the
Spinner Bait bar.

Oh yeah, they also make sauerkraut in Wisconsin. While wearing rubber boots
and using pitchforks. Many people used to love sauerkraut, but since it was
the only part of the broadcast that didn't show Brett Favre's silver stubble
glinting in the stadium lights of Lambeau, it can only be assumed there will
be a nation-wide boycott of this contribution from the cabbage industry. Oh,
for shame. They could have at least superimposed a headshot of Favre in the
bottom corner of the screen.

If you missed the broadcast and planned on watching it later on your TiVo,
let me save you the trouble:

*Pre-game:* Brett Favre is mentioned 749 times, interrupted only by Peyton
Manning commercials. The story line is something along the lines of "The
Packers, led by [you guessed it] Brett Favre, are playing some team the
broadcasters forgot the name of."

*First Half:* According to the broadcast, Brett Favre is having the time of
his life. Amidst the glory of enjoying Year Four of his Retirement Tour, he
looks like he's only 32 as he tosses touchdowns to receivers who were
watching Sesame Street while Favre rode the pine in Atlanta his first
season. By the end of the half, the score is Packers 17, "Other Team from
Somewhere" 7.

*Halftime:* Announcers swear that if Brett Favre wasn't being sabotaged by a
pesky defensive back named Charles Tillman, the Packers would be winning by
a score of 642 to nothing. Cris Collinsworth promises to send a memo to the
league complaining that this Tillman character is ruining the broadcast,
particularly the ticker-tape parade planned by NBC for the post-game
interview of Favre.

*Second Half:* Chicago Bears arrive from hibernation to replace the "random
team not from Green Bay," and make Favre look like he's 38 years old (which
he is, by the way). And human. Bears slowly squeeze the life out of Lambeau,
much like a veteran Elk's Club member would squeeze a bratwurst out of its
casing.

*Post-game:* Collinsworth weeps on national television, calling for "jihad"
on the Bears for ruining his hopes of a Dallas vs. Green Bay seven game
series, which was to replace the regular season and, in his mind, be far
better. National journalists covering the game look for ways to spin the
events of Sunday night as Brett Favre finding a way to lose the game, rather
than the Bears showing signs of life.

Unfortunately for the delusional Favre-ophiles in the national media, the
truth is that Brett Favre didn't lose this Week Five game. The Bears won it.
Who knows how; but somewhere in the bowels of Lambeau field, the Bears
rediscovered the spark that makes them so downright Chicago.

Is there anything more Chicago than running the ball into a storm of
defenders 25+ times for less than 70 yards? Other cities would call that
futility, frustration or folly. Chicago calls it a game plan.

How about setting loose a rookie tight end against the Packers in Green Bay,
while benching your season-opening quarterback (Grossman) and losing your
number one wide receiver (Berrian) and left offensive tackle (Tait) to
injury? Most teams would have clammed up and hoped for a lucky injury to his
Supreme Favre-inity. The Bears shrugged and found a different way to win.

There are three things that Chicago learned about the Bears on Sunday night.

The first is that Griese has possibility. If last week's game against the
Lions was his first chance to shake off the rust, this game was a glimmer of
the season-saving diamond he may yet turn out to be for the Bears. Yes, he
threw an interception. Every quarterback coughs one up here and there. And
it was apparent throughout the night that he has yet to find true sync with
his receivers, overthrowing them on multiple occasions.

Still, the difference between what Grossman offered and what Griese provides
was clear last night: Griese's throws, though they sailed far beyond his
receivers, ensured no one would catch the ball unless it was a player in
blue and orange. That's wisdom. And Griese's play was not only largely
mistake-free, it was filled with good decisions that yielded - gasp -
touchdowns. Offensive touchdowns, what a concept!

The second lesson is that Benson can be a benefit to the Bears instead of a
fumbling, non-productive mess. To all of the people who are already
hammering him for being unable to bust a big run all night, consider this:
Griese (as of yet) does not threaten teams with his downfield shots. As a
result, Green Bay was lined up within ten yards of the line and jumping down
Benson's throat every time he got the ball. LaDainian Tomlinson and Larry
Johnson are finding out this year just how hard it is to bust big runs when
the other team doesn't have to respect the downfield pass. While Benson
certainly isn't deserving of a two-letter moniker beginning with 'L,' he
does deserve the benefit of the doubt - perhaps he could have averaged more
yards per carry if the Packers were scared of being burned deep.

On a side-note, Ron Turner deserves a milk-bone for his reawakening with the
running game. See, the Packers had gotten a hot tip from watching the Bears
play the Lions - if they stopped the run, Ron Turner would throw up his
hands and pass 52 times. This time, Turner didn't wet his pants watching
Benson get stuffed over and over. The results speak for themselves. As the
night wore on, Griese had less pressure in his face and the receivers
gradually got open as the Packers committed more defenders to stopping
Benson, until that fateful play when Griese hit Clark for the deciding
touchdown. Game, set, match.

The final thing that became clear Sunday night is that the Bears defense
still has that special something. The take-away, keep-away defense that has
defined the Lovie Smith era returned with a bang, playing the kind of
turnover-battle, winning football that has helped the Bears out of so many
sticky games. As the second half unwound, as the defense made more and more
plays, they started to strut. They started to swagger. Most importantly,
they started to smile.

Everything that could be said about what the Bears D was doing in the second
half can be summed up by the continual shots of Favre pouting, chewing out
teammates and generally looking like a grumpy old man on the sideline. The
Bears defense is beat up and might not win any games on their own this year,
*Exhibit A* being how vulnerable they seemed to Green Bay's previously
nonexistent running game. But, if Griese and Co. can give the Bears defense
a lead (or at least a reason to believe that they might help out),
Urlacher's Eleven are still good enough to hang with anybody.

Don't get wrapped up in looking this gift horse in the mouth. It's
understandable why you want to, because after a weekend in which the Cubs
came apart at the seams, the only sensible thing would be to prevent
yourself from getting overly excited about the Bears winning one game on the
road.

Yes, you could focus on the first half struggles; or on how it took Turner
until the fourth quarter to realize that if he went deep on the Pack, it
might open up the running game; or on Griese's seemingly limited downfield
strength. Yes, the secondary seemed flummoxed by that pesky slant pattern
the Packers used every other play, which was the equivalent of listening to
a cat undergo dental surgery. Most worrisome, the Packers showed the NFL how
to keep the ball away from Devin Hester on kickoffs and punts.

Leave all of those thoughts in the basement with the Cubs flag you bought
last weekend. Today, there are more reasons to hope than to despair. Griese
showed improvement, thank heavens. Benson didn't fumble - not even once -
and ripped off a couple of impressive runs, including an NFL-quality charge
for a touchdown. The offensive line picked up a few blitzes. The receivers
stopped dropping balls. Ron Turner got his head out of his rear with his
play calling. The defense looked good again.

The Bears won, and they didn't look like they lucked into it by accident.

Even more exciting is that, unless you're a masochist or a cheesehead, you
won't be forced to listen to the media kiss Favre's hindquarters anymore.
That is, until he rolls south for Game Two against the team NBC couldn't
think of anything to say about. You know, the guys in blue & orange from
some small town in Illinois.

Rumor is they might be looking to ruin Favre's going-away party.